Cristiano Renaldo, Babymamas and Babymemas, I knew it.

and I am bleeping relieved that you are not weird.  You are an ordinary ish guy that got taken for a ride.  Well that would be my turn of events if I was your Public Relations Officer, ( Which I should I should be by the way because whoever followed the route of Surrogacy needs help!)  Loads of guys have had this happen.  My husband for one,  I met him him when his baby was a year old and he and he the mother had been split up two years before.  When she came round just for sex and 'no commitment' after the split he thought he was onto a winner.  !Twit!  And not just him either as it turns out that my friend's brother has also been caught out when he split up with his girlfriend because she wanted kids and he didn't see a future with her that way.  Suddenly about a month after they split she tells him she is preggers.  After speaking with his sister, my friend, he told her that upon working it out it must have been the very last time that they had had sex.  Now he has met the 'one' who he wants to marry and fortunately she is supportive of the situation however it is shit that they have to start their relationship with him having a baby due in September.

Frankly I do feel sorry for both these guys because they genuinely did not want to bring a child into this world without being in a loving relationship in which to bring a baby up in.  Yes they were stupid but I think that my husband for one has tried his utmost to try and be the best Dad he can despite the restrictions that he has.  Let's face it Cristiano got the better deal because now he has a wonderful son out of a messy situation whereas most men have a wonderful child and an ex to deal with.  Now I would like to reiterate that accidents do happen and that there are women who are truly trying to make the best of what could have been a better situation.  However then there are women who do think I will have a baby and that will make him stay or at the very least keep me in his life ie nobody who splits with me will forget me in a hurry. 

Now these women are generally quite immature and selfish which usually comes with the former.  It is their life blueprint so the men that have to deal with these types of a Babymamas will usually find themselves with a lot more than they bargained for which could lead them to choose between having a life or living for when Babymama lets them have time with their child.  (I think we should call this type Babymema).  Now don't get me wrong, a Babymema will let you spend all the time in the world with your child and will encourage it because she does not want them to miss out.  However do not question anything about her parenting skills, do not bring the child back if he/she is upset and wants to go home, especially on a weekend night, do not bring the child back if he/she has done something wrong and you feel it is strong enough to ask the full time parent to deal with it, always offer to buy for the child and take up hints from her about what child needs.  These hints usually take the form of sending child to you in a summer dress in winter or just asking while stroking their latest Gucci purse that could only you make you wonder if Reception work is paying better these days.  Also never ask what she does in her spare time and never ever mention someone else you might like around her or you could be the subject of a terror campaign. 

The rest of your family will also be encouraged to spend time with child but they must remember that it is expected and they will not be invited to any school shows, Sports days, Sports competition or any other milestone event in child's life because they are helping you in your sin of dumping a Babymema whoops as they would say getting her preggers and leaving her in the gutter.

Yip I think Cristiano's Golddigger is definitely a better person for not wanting her child to be brought up in a warzone, wanting them to have a good life and not wanting to drag out a lifetime of torture for everybody involved to get a kick out of being the centre of a attention even if it is for all the wrong reasons

Money Food Egg Donation: Christiano Renaldo

Money Food Egg Donation: Christiano Renaldo

10 Bad Jokes

1  What do you call a three legged donkey?
     Wonky

2  What do you call a donkey with three legs and one eye?
    A winky wonky donkey

3  What do you call a donkey with three legs one eye and that smells?
    A stinky winky wonky donkey.

4  Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
    To see his Flatmate

5  What do you call a Ladda on top of a hill?
     A miracle

6  What do you call a Ladda at the bottom of a hill?
     Typical
7  What do you get when you cross a hedgehog with a giraffe?
     A toothbrush

8  Patient:  Doctor! Doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains!
    Doctor:  Then pull yourself together

9  man 1:  I knew a man with a wooden leg called Smith
    man 2:  What was the other one called?

10  What did the stamp say to the letter?
       Let's stick together.

Food

I am making Roast beef tonight for tea. My family are coming round for the first time. It is the first day of my holiday and I intend to get drunk on Pimms. It feels only right as it is tennis season and the weather is crap.

Speaking of tennis I enjoyed that Drama Dive last night (the link between tennis and dive is sport). However there were a lot of long winded bits in it but I suppose you had to get frustrated the same way the characters were frustrated with everything so I suppose that was a good way of doing it.

I suppose I had better get on and be a good mum and go swimming and get cracking on the Roast Beef but I would rather go to the South of France and have a Spa day. Ah well that is what I get for marrying for love and thinking that I had enough brains and determination to make my own money. How arrogant and naive. Well time to go and count my blessings!

Egg Donation

Inspired by Mr Renaldo's generosity I thought about Egg Donation (Surrogacy too much for me). So I checked it out on the Internet and added my details to a particular site. I was honest about every aspect of my life and perhaps that is why the offers haven't exactly been flooding in if any.

I did think about adding myself to the most beautiful people Egg Donation site however I could not find a photo on the computer that would do me justice as that is a requirement of the site. It seems that my husband cannot get my good side. 'Beautiful people Egg Donation?' I hear you say. Yes there is such a thing with people wanting little perfect, talented sprogglings that might one day earn the cash for them in their retirement. It seems that it is not enough now to just want a baby without the genes that may turn them into an alcoholic or drug addict. Admittedly I do feel sorry for these little kid that grow up and do not live up to expectation especially if they came from beautiful people DNA. It is a bit silly to think that this can be passed on as isn't there always in a family full of idiots some freak gene that makes perhaps one of them super brainy and no one know where he got it from? Who is to say that it will not happen the other way around?

Anyway I even called a place to try and join the Egg Donor club and the way I was treated it is like breaking into showbiz not offering your services. I am now getting to the point that I am flouting my eggs like a pushy mother at a pageant. They are good eggs Dagnamit! Anyone who wants them I accept 5 million minimum!

Christiano Renaldo

Ah Chrissy, If you had only made your way to Britain I could quite happily have helped you out in the baby stakes. No Doctor required. My husband would have been quite happy with that for ten million too except I think he would have actually preferred the Doctor being involved.

However now that it is done I can't help thinking that there is a bit of Wacko Jacko weirdness about you since it has been said that you got a surrogate to carry out your work. When it first came out that you were a Dad and that the mother was not involved I had romantic notions and a great story in my head of femme fatales and Golddiggers with the resulting of an innocent. Now that I have found out it is a Surrogate, because money buys everything, I think either firstly the lady was Subo and you don't want anyone to find out or secondly you believe that money buys everything and don't believe in love, commitment and having a child as a result of that because money buys everything.

So when he is a teenager and despises everyone and everything you have the perfect comeback when he says 'I hate you'. You could say 'I'd return you but they don't accept refunds'.

Ah well gone are the days when I said to everyone 'I like him because when all the other players are getting angry he laughs at them'. Now I say move over Jacko!